Who Are Your Crew?
A frightened captain makes a frightened crew.
- Lister Sinclair
You don’t go to war with the army you wish you had; you go to war with the army you’ve got.
- Donald Rumsfeld
Airline crews have limited influence over who they fly with. It is common for crew members to not know each other at all, which is why it is important we are familiar with the job duties of other crew members. That way we know what all the other crew members are supposed to do and when, which is known as using standardized procedures.
That prevents crew members from being surprised by what someone else does, because they should not be doing anything outside of procedure. Even with those, conditions often vary, like flight time, weather, turbulence, crew experience, and items that may be inoperative on the aircraft. Those variables make crew briefings an important part of safety and, along with standardized procedures, ensure we are all on the same page each flight.
In life, your crew comes in the form of friends and family. We have some control over who is on our crew, like our spouse or our friends. Some we cannot choose, like our relatives or our children (adoption aside), no matter how badly we wish we could choose those people. Once on your crew, they might be there for the duration, just like an airline crew, so you must all get on the same page and try to stay on it.
Frequent briefings are a good idea to ensure that remains the case, because conditions will vary during the journey. These can come in the form of periodic “meetings” to discuss recent events and upcoming decisions. A good crew member wants to know what is going on, especially if it is important to you or will affect the journey. By the way, your spouse is your co-pilot, not your passenger, so treat them like one.
Regarding your friends, choose wisely, because, as the saying goes, show me your friends and I will show you your future. Many people go through life never having one close friend. (What a shame.) “Friend” is a term that gets thrown around flippantly in our culture. It does not take much for some people to call someone “friend”. That is unfortunate in my opinion. For me, I do not call just anyone my friend.
That is not because I am “all that” and only a select few deserve to be my friend. It is because I do not want to use the same “label” (argh, hate that word) for someone I rarely see or talk to as I do for those that are unfaltering in their loyalty as they walk life with me. Doing so runs the risk of elevating the former and minimizing the latter. If you are unsure how to determine who your real friends are, you can start by taking your birthday off social media and seeing who wishes you a happy birthday.
Yes, there are gradations of friendship, such as best friend, close friend, good friend, etc., but I think it is wise to be careful who we consider our friend. To cultivate a good, genuine friendship takes risk that, I think, many people are not willing to take. A good friend knows the worst about you and is your friend anyway. To be fully known and fully loved is the basest of all human desires.
If you are not sure who your real friends are you will find out quick when something bad happens in your life (or need someone to help you move). The ones that stick around and walk through that with you are your real friends (part of your crew). The rest might be better called an acquaintance. It is better to have a few good friends on your crew than dozens (or hundreds) of superficial ones.
Besides doing the hard things, like walking life with you when it is not going well, they will say the hard things. A friend that says what you want to hear cares more about themselves or preserving the friendship than they do about you. They want you to like them more than they want what is best for you. The same type of communication also occurs on the flight deck. I want my fellow crew members to tell me the unfiltered truth. That is the only way I can make a good, well-informed decision. The Bible speaks to this too:
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6 NKJV)
The captain’s (your) job includes setting the tone for the flight to create an environment where the crew feels comfortable contributing and ensuring open and clear communications. It is also important to understand your crew, play to their strengths, and be aware of their weaknesses.
For example, as a first officer I flew several days with a captain that had great hand-flying pilot skills but was not as proficient using the autopilot and related functions. I did my best to support him when the autopilot was on, meanwhile looking forward to when he would turn it all off, fly the aircraft by hand, and I could relax a bit. I understood his weaknesses and strengths and used that knowledge to support him as best I could. I can remember those days of flying with him so clearly.
I recall one flight, while in the local airport area during our approach to land. After he reached limit of his patience with the automation, he uttered a few cuss words, turned everything off, then apologized to me about his difficulty with the automation. I assured him that all was well with me and that I was quite comfortable with him hand flying because he was the only pilot that I flew with that relaxed me when he turned off the autopilot. (I am not sure he took that as a compliment.) Much to his credit, he was aware of his limitations.
Managing expectations and good communication are an important part of safety, and pretty much every other area of life. Both on and off the flight deck it seems everyone’s frustration stays low if both are done well. For example, if I have a flight delay, I just tell the passengers the unsweetened truth, to the point of giving them the worst-case scenario, in the clearest possible language, while avoiding aviation jargon. (The phrase, “under promise and over deliver” comes to mind.)
If the situation changes, I do it again. However, just communicating is often not enough. It is important to also be alert to any possible misunderstandings by being attentive to how (or if) your message was received. On the flight deck, non-verbal cues are often the best clue that a miscommunication has occurred. Have you ever witnessed two people talking that thought they understood each other but you could tell they seemed to be having two different conversations? Yeah, try to avoid that.
Finally, when evaluating crew member input, experience can be valuable, but inexperience is not necessarily a detriment. For example, when I am flying with a new pilot, I make it clear their inexperience gives them a perspective that I have long lost and, since they just finished training, they are familiar with the most current information. Besides being required to even fly the jet, their fresh knowledge makes them valuable too. Consider how a teenager may not have much life experience but they may know a bunch more than you about the latest technology and cultural trends.
Some questions to ponder:
Do you have some good, close friends that will say the hard things? Are you that kind of friend to someone else?
Do you know the strengths and weaknesses of your family and your friends? How about yourself?
Are you doing regular briefings with a friend, a few friends, your spouse, and/or your spouse and kids? Is everyone on the same page?
Have you created an environment where your crew feels comfortable contributing?
Comment below or email FLIGHTPLANFORLIFE@gmail.com. Feedback is welcome.