Are You Flying Life or is it Flying You?
If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
No matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius
You may have heard stories of passengers getting on the wrong flight. Maybe you have been on a flight and heard a crew member announce a destination over the PA that did not match where you were going. (After several days of flying four flights per day it can be easy to screw that up.) I recently saw an interesting variation of those stories when I was traveling as a passenger on a flight to Dayton, Ohio (a deadhead in airline jargon). A passenger requested to get off the flight after a flight attendant made the announcement welcoming everyone onboard the flight.
Evidently, Dayton was not where he wanted to go, but the problem wasn’t that he boarded the wrong flight (which happens). The problem was that he had booked the wrong flight. I overheard him tell the flight attendant that his intended destination was Daytona Beach, Florida and he thought that was what he had booked. His mistake had happened way back when he was buying his ticket. He did not realize the mistake until he was on the flight, in his seat, and the door was about to close. Similar things happen quite often actually, which is why you hear the destination so many times in PA announcements.
While it is okay to have some momentary confusion in determining if all the people on the flight actually intend to go where the jet is going, it certainly is never okay for the captain to be at all confused about the destination. In your life, that captain is YOU. You are responsible for developing a flight plan that will take you and your family (the jet) safely to the intended destination. The flight plan for your life is yours to craft and, if the unplanned occurs, you make the adjustments. In life, as it is with the flight of any aircraft, it comes down to one person – the pilot in command. It is called personal responsibility, something that unfortunately seems to be in short supply in our current culture.
Obviously, a pilot must know where he is taking an airplane full of people. In fact, there is almost nothing he can do until he has that one critical piece of information because the destination drives everything else. Only with a destination can the pilot start working on answers to such questions as:
What is the route of flight?
What is the flight time? Will there be a headwind or tailwind?
What will the weather be like?
Do we need an alternate airport?
How much fuel do we need? Do we need a fuel stop?
What should I pack? (Fargo in January is far different than Miami.)
So, have a destination. That seems like a basic concept, but some people seem to struggle with choosing one. I once heard it put simply as 'Choose and do'. It seems that many people do only one of those.
Some people avoid choosing because they are afraid of making a bad choice or failing. I had a conversation about that with a friend recently. He was struggling with deciding what he wanted to do when he grew up (at 30 years old). He said: "I want to make sure I make good choices." My response was: "Well, I hope that doesn’t happen." He was understandably shocked with my comment until I explained that failure is a much better teacher than success, if you maintain a teachable attitude.
You may know someone that has lots of ideas on what to do with their life but does not do much, or anything, to achieve any of them. They are habitual choosers but do not have much “do” in them. Today you ask them what they are up to and they tell you they want to be a writer. Next week you ask how their writing is going and they tell you they are starting a podcast. They may have even crafted a plan to achieve a goal (or more than one) but they never start down a path, or don't go very far down a path before choosing again. By the way, "being a writer" or some similar statement is not a destination. You must know if you have achieved the goal (i.e., arrived at the destination). If I pick up a pen and put it to paper – whammo! – I am a writer. The destination (goal) must be specific, not vague.
Many cities have multiple airports in the same area, but the crew and passengers have a specific airport in mind – that is the destination. Chicago O'Hare vs. Chicago Midway is one of many possible good examples. If you want to book a flight to Chicago, you are going to have be more specific. Being specific is important in choosing a destination for your flight plan for life but it can be difficult. It involves commitment. (Aversion to commitment is a serious mental disorder – just kidding. Well, it is for me anyway.) Not choosing may seem like avoiding the commitment but not choosing is making a commitment – a commitment to waste, in my not-so-humble opinion. Your skills and talents are a gift from God and should not be wasted. Commit to a specific destination that aligns with them or allows you an opportunity to use them well.
Think of a jet that is loaded up with passengers, fully fueled, and has a fully qualified crew that is fit and ready to fly, but the captain never gives the order "brakes release, cleared to push". The jet just sits at the gate, wasting away. How long would you put up with that as a passenger? Most likely not long. It can be frustrating having a friend like that. Maybe you are like that and need to choose a destination. (Analysis paralysis anyone?)
Imagine that same jet has pushed back from the gate and taken off but shortly thereafter the captain changes the destination, then changes it again, and maybe again. Good Lord that would be frustrating. Thankfully, the mission-oriented nature of most pilots (and their desire to preserve their careers) makes that scenario highly unlikely, but a person like that is an example of a habitual "doer". They never seem to make a definitive choice.
They may even get close to their intended destination before changing their mind. I know more than one person that nearly finished a college degree, quit school altogether within a semester of finishing, and then never made a positive choice of a new destination. Ultimately, it was chosen for them. They ended up along for the ride, not in positive control of their flight path.
If you do not choose a destination one will ultimately be chosen for you, whether you like it or not. (Every takeoff is followed by a landing, eventually.) That does not mean that the destination or the route to the intended destination cannot change (flights divert for example) but pilots consider those changes carefully. (More on diversions and route changes later.)
When I was learning to fly airplanes, I had an instructor that was firm, strict, and did not mince words. During one flight lesson I was holding my altitude about 100 feet off from the target (3100' vs 3000'). He commented "If you can hold altitude a hundred feet off then you can hold the correct altitude exactly.” If I made any excuses he would respond with “Are you flying the airplane or is it flying you"? That always stuck with me and it applies to the positive choice of a specific destination. On your flight plan for life, are you flying life or is life flying you? If you have not made a positive choice of a specific destination, it may be flying you.
Your flight plan for life begins with choosing a specific destination. The space between where you are and that destination includes a plan, decisions, commitment, work, etc. It does not matter if the goal is becoming an airline captain, getting the best pizza in town, or making sandwich in your own kitchen, you have work to do, unless you are going to let life fly you around (or starve).
Comment below or email FLIGHTPLANFORLIFE@gmail.com. Feedback is welcome.